This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance
   to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where
   prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank
   number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment.
   Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not
   use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will
   be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to
   sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for
   some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings.
   For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of
   age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No
   user-serviceable parts inside. Best if used before date on
   carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated
   picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking
   seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As
   seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a
   substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time,
   fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when
   wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
   Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. process
   promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was
   current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on
   file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect,
   incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error
   or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Penalty for 
   private use: $100. See label for sequence. Substantial
   penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling
   rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your
   receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin.
   Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
   Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Tear along dotted line.
   Easy open pouch. Easy close pouch. Brown and serve. 
   Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of
   dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
   Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be
   present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase
   necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
   Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are.
   Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for
   veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some
   equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian
   coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone.
   Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or
   horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package,
   not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then
   pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash.
   Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for
   identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back
   of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold,
   spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a
   complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may
   vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of the ownership,
   staff, or management of 1360 KKTX Radio. Don't quote me on that.
   Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute
   this article freely but you may not make a profit from it. Terms are
   subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged
   to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is
   unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer
   under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not
   bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a
   limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or
   otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Article is provided "as is"
   without any warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal
   opportunity employer. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Quantities are
   limited. While supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not
   attempt to repair them yourself, but return to an authorized service
   center. Swim at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics.
   Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find
   objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight.
   Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please.
   No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win.
   Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are
   included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added.
   Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed
   for your protection. Do not use if safety seal is broken. 
   Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse.
   Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme
   temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open
   flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do
   not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do
   not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking may be hazardous
   to your health. The best safeguard, second only to
   abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or
   flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms
   persist, consult a physician. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly,
   and children should avoid prolonged exposure. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. 
   Ribbed for your pleasure. Offer valid only at participating sites. Allow four
   to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to enter. Disclaimer does not
   cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic
   eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect,
   damage from improper handling, incorrect line voltage, broken antenna
   or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic
   radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that
   are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking
   or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling
   rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or
   projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets,
   shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of
   X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.).

   Other restrictions may apply.

   This supersedes all previous notices.

This End User License Agreement (EULA) is a legal agreement between you (either an individual or a single entity, hereafter referred to as "ripe") and the webmaster (hereafter referred to as "Pun'kin") of the referring page.

This SOFTWARE PRODUCT is protected by copyright laws and international copyright treaties, as well as other intellectual property laws and treaties. Ripe (hereafter referred to as "bored") agrees not to tell the owners about the wanton abuse by the webmaster (hereafter referred to as "Bob Vila").
You may not reverse engineer, decompile, or disassemble the SOFTWARE PRODUCT, except and only to the extent of using it for the express purpose of promoting the webmasters' (hereafter referred to as "Nutbuster Parfait") chum skimming business, or the franchising of same (hereafter referred to as "some").
You may also have other rights which vary from state to state, which shall also be trampled by the webmaster (hereafter referred to as "drunk"). You also, by reading this far, agree that the Webmaster (hereafter referred to as "the Defendant") invented the internet.

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