Kclock for Windows 7, Windows Vista, Windows XP...

kclock-vista.exe - {version 4.00.0007}. A stay-on-top clock with a few useful add-ons:
alarm clock, calendar, contacts, directory creator, file and system information tools, text editor, text directory viewer, color pickers, screen ruler, stikky notes, wallpaper changer, screensavers...
for Windows XP, Windows Vista and Windows 7
Updated August 25 2009
Size on disk: 2.38 MB (2,498,560 bytes)
setup program md5sum: 482813e6020222c1e5c7c28119c1bac7

an outdated screen shot
md5sum of the outdated screenshot picture: 8ee0ddfb5c60bb42ccd1a62e22892432

Note: This is not the KDE kclock. When I started my kclock project
in 1997, I didn't know what KDE was, and now I'm just too danged
old to care. Now get off my lawn ya darn kids!

Kclock for Windows 9x...

kclock-9x.exe - {version 2.00.0137}. A stay-on-top clock with a few useful add-ons.
for Windows 95, Windows 98, and Windows Me
1.33 MB
md5sum: a37c07f5a3c9a590893094729ecd57c9, also for Win9x
8 kb zipped, 25 kb unzipped
...but of course, you'll still need vb40032.dll (411 kb self-extracting zip file)

Kclock README and acknowledgements

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Icons, cursors and freeware

Installing Windows icons
Blank icon titles
Full color icons
Regedit warning
System icons
Customize the Recycle Bin
Shell icons
Custom folder icons
Help from Microsoft
Screen savers
Desktop themes
A quick unix note - FreeBSD and Linux

All programs below are for Win95, Win98 and WinMe
These are for Win95, Win98 and WinMe. Some won't work with XP or Vista.
Like all of my programs, there is no chance of anything happening to your computer, because
my programs don't touch your system files.

standalone executables (included with the clock)

Disk free space -  6kb zipped, 18kb unzipped

Screen ruler -  11kb zipped, 156kb unzipped

Mouse trap -  5kb zipped, 16kb unzipped

Wallpaper changer -  6kb zipped, 18kb unzipped

Create shortcuts on the desktop -  6kb zipped, 18kb unzipped  9kb zipped, 25kb unzipped

alarm clock
screen painter
font viewer

process viewer
directory creator
file properties
file renamer
sticky notes
task list
file date changer

All programs require vb40032.dll (411 kb self-extracting zip file), included with the kclock

And possibly:
...also included with the kclock, all of which should go into the same directory as the program requiring it.

Animated Startup, Shutdown and Wait .sys files for Win9x SYS files
Screenshot (opens in a new window)

These were meant for Windows98 and WindowsMe and run flawlessly therein. I use them all
with Windows XP too, but there are some minor bugs feature changes, none of
which matter.

Before downloading anything from anywhere, scan it with an antivirus and have a backup system
in place. Here's a refresher course on "System Restore":
Since you're probably Smarter and Better Looking than the average plebe, you
want a disk imaging system: //

These all work great with Win95, Win98 and WinMe. However...the password function
doesn't always work with XP and Vista. I've kept most of these in the XP-Vista editon
of kclock, but removed the password function. a Shining Force 2 screensaver
(144 kb zipped, 752 unzipped) dancing frog screensaver
21 kb zipped, 172 kb unzipped
For Win95, Win98 and WinMe, not tested on Win2k, runs with minor bugs in WinXP gradients similar to Setup program gradients
8 kb zipped, 52 kb unzipped
For Win95, Win98 and WinMe, not tested on Win2k, runs with minor bugs in WinXP Britney Spears screen saver
1.01 M zipped
For Win95, Win98 and WinMe, not tested on Win2k, runs with minor bugs in WinXP Screen Meltdown
6 kb zipped, 19 kb unzipped
For Win95, Win98 and WinMe, not tested on Win2k, runs with minor bugs in WinXP Snow saver
5 kb zipped, 16 kb unzipped
For Win95, Win98 and WinMe, not tested on Win2k, runs with minor bugs in WinXP

Desktop Themes the Simpsons desktop theme

(465 kb zipped, 1.02 mb unzipped)
For Win95, Win98 and WinMe, not tested on Win2k, runs with minor bugs in WinXP Simpsons icons not included in the theme (80 kb zipped, 172 kb unzipped)

For Windows98 & WindowsMe:
Startup and Shutdown .sys files

The Linux fortune file

Linux installation notes


Windows 95, Windows 98 and Windows Millenium icon notes and tips

Blank icon titles on the Desktop:
Right-click a shortcut on your Desktop and select Rename from the shortcut menu. While holding down the [Alt] key, type 0160 and press [Enter]. Special characters can also be used for icon title text. This is much better if you've selected 'Underline icons only when I point at them' in the Folder Options menu.

Display Full-Color Icons
Now that you've got all those glorious new icons on your desktop, you'll want to see them in their best light. By default,older versions of Windows displays icons in 4-bit color (16 colors). To display icons in photo-realistic 16- or 24-bit color you must change a Registry key. To do so, click your Start button, click Run, and type regedit. Navigate to HKEY_CURRENT_USER\ControlPanel\desktop\WindowMetrics. If you don't have a value in the right pane called Shell Icon BPP, select Edit, New, String Value, then type in Shell Icon BPP, and press Enter. Double-click on Shell Icon BPP and change it to 16 (for 16-bit color) or 24 (for 24-bit color)...pick the one that matches your monitor settings. Restart Windows to make the change stick.

A word of caution: regedit doesn't have an Undo. If you change something, it's changed. If you change something Windows needs to run won't. On the other hand, Windows is a lot more fun if you poke it (if you're a geek like us, anyway). My advice: make a backup of the registry and learn how to restore it from DOS. See how to do it and look over my registry, explorer and windows tips at notes, and take note of the disclaimer at the top of the page before bitching at me complaining. Thanks!


To change the icon associated with My Computer, find the Registry key HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT\CLSID\{20d04fe0-3aea-1069-a2d8 -08002b30309d}\DefaultIcon. Double-click on the (Default) entry (in NT it's <No Name>: REG_EXPAND_SZ) and change it to the icon you want. For example, if you used Shell32.dll,13, you'd get the globe icon from Shell32.dll.
Similarly, you can change the Network Neighborhood icon's picture by looking for CLSID {208d2c60-3aea-1069-a2d7-08002b30309d}; Microsoft Network with CLSID {00028b00-0000-0000-c000-000000000046}; Inbox with {00020d75-0000-0000-c000-000000000046}; and Internet Explorer with {fbf23b42-e3f0-101b-8488-00aa003e56f8}. Restart Windows or hit F5 to put your changes into effect. For some reason, sometimes a restart won't show the new icons...they're being cached. If you have TweakUI installed, go to the Repair tab, and click the Rebuild Icons button.
While you're revamping your desktop icons, you'll probably want to change the Recycle Bin icon. Doing so is slightly more complex. In both Windows 95 and NT, the picture that's displayed on the Desktop is located in the CLSID {645ff040-5081-101b-9f08-00aa002f954e}\DefaultIcon key's (Default) value. Whenever you empty the Recycle Bin, the picture stored in the empty value of this same key gets copied into the (Default) value--and that picture appears on the Desktop. As soon as you dump one file into the Recycle Bin, the picture stored in the full value is copied into the (Default) value. So you must make sure to change both values.

Of course, later editions of Windows will let you change these without playing with the registry.

Speaking of the Recycle Bin...

To add Rename and Delete to the right-click context menu, open Regedit and go to:
and edit the Binary value to:
70 01 00 20

If you don't see the Recycle bin at that key, try:

Note: Editing a binary value is a little more tricky than editing a string value. Export the key to safe place before trying it for the first time.

Shell icons
You already know you can go to:
double-click the DefaultIcon, replace it with "%1" (so its ""%1"" when you click 'OK'), and Windows will show the bitmap as the icon instead of using the default icon for all bitmaps. You can also do the same thing with HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT\dllfile\DefaultIcon for .dll files and HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT\cplfile\DefaultIcon for Control Panel icons.

Custom folder icons

Navigate to the folder whom's icon you want to change, right-click and select New -> Text Document, and rename it to:
Here's a two line desktop.ini file pointing to an icon:


Here's a three line desktop.ini file pointing to shell32.dll:


Now open a DOS prompt (Start Menu -> Programs -> MS-DOS Prompt) and type:
attrib +s c:\path\to\foldername
This makes it a system folder, which you can see by right-clicking and selecting 'Properties'. To remove the System folder attribute, enter:
attrib -s c:\path\to\foldername
at the DOS prompt.

You can change shell icons through the registry at:
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\explorer\Shell Icons
ZDNet has a tool called (a href="//")DecoMenu(/a) that will slice up a picture, make it into icons, and put it on the Start Menu. The icons can be anywhere on your disk. In this example, I've changed the open folder icon also:
[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\explorer\Shell Icons]
"19"="C:\\PROGRAM FILES\\DECOMENU\\p1.ico"
"43"="C:\\PROGRAM FILES\\DECOMENU\\p2.ico"
"20"="C:\\PROGRAM FILES\\DECOMENU\\p3.ico"
"21"="C:\\PROGRAM FILES\\DECOMENU\\p4.ico"
"22"="C:\\PROGRAM FILES\\DECOMENU\\p5.ico"
"23"="C:\\PROGRAM FILES\\DECOMENU\\p6.ico"
"24"="C:\\PROGRAM FILES\\DECOMENU\\p7.ico"
If you create a shortcut to a file, right click the shortcut and select 'Properties', there's a button labeled "Change Icon". Clicking it brings up a window with the icons in C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM\SHELL32.DLL . You start counting at the top left as 0,1,2,3, second column is 4,5,6,7, etc. So to display a different icon representing an open folder, go to the registry location above and select New -> String Value, name it 4, and enter the path to your new icon, such as c:\windows\linux.ico (case insensitive, no quotes)
You need to refresh your icon cache before it'll show up using TweakUI or (ahem) my clock program's Icon Refresher

Note for Windows XP:
To change shell icons in Windows XP you have to edit explorer.exe

From Microsoft:
Some icons in My Computer, Windows Explorer, on the desktop, or in the Quick Launch toolbar may randomly change.
This behavior can occur if the icon cache is not properly updated.
Using Registry Editor, add the "Max Cached Icons" (without quotation marks) string value with a value data of "500" (without quotation marks) to the following registry key:
and then restart your computer. If the icons are still incorrect, delete the ShellIconCache file. The Max Cached Icons value data range is between 100 and 2000. The default value is 500.

</Win9x icon notes>

Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:

          12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
          11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I
          need dual Pentium processors if I am to
          do battle with this code!"
          10) "You cannot really appreciate
          Dilbert unless you've read it in the
          original Klingon."
          9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how
          to indent when I indent your skull!"
          8) "What is this talk of 'release'?
          Klingons do not make software
          'releases'. Our software 'escapes,'
          leaving a bloody trail of designers &
          quality assurance people in its wake."
          7) "Klingon function calls do not have
          'parameters' - they have 'arguments' -
          and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
          6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug.
          Our software does not coddle the weak."
          5) "I have challenged the entire quality
          assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest.
          They will not concern us again."
          4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not
          comment his code!"
          3) "By filing this bug report you have
          challenged the honor of my family.
          PREPARE TO DIE!"
          2) "You question the worthiness of my
          code? I should kill you where you
          1) "Our users will know fear and cower
          before our software! Ship it! Ship it
          and let them flee like the dogs they

"Why Engineers Don't Write

     Chocolate Chip Cookies Ingredients:

     1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
     2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
     3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
     4.) 236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
     5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
     6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
     7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
     8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated
     protein ovoids
     9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao 10.) 236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume
     meats (sieve size #10)
     >To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an
     overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add
     ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.
     >In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller
     operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven
     until the mixture is homogenous.
     >To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal
     volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1.
     >Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant
     agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to
     control any temperature rise that may be the result of an
     exothermic reaction.
     >Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the
     mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).
     >Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement
     with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS,
     21, 55), or until golden brown.
     >Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-
     transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

browser error codes

The program isn't debugged until the last user is dead.



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Icons, cursors and freeware -

more bug cursors
dolphin icons and cursors

There's a few good ones, a few so-so ones, and a bunch of bad ones in each file.
These were frickin' awesome in 1996, grandpa....

To install in Windows:
Click the link and save the file to disc. Run your standard virus scan and unzip it into C:\Windows\cursors
Click the Start button, Settings, Control Panel, then Mouse, then the Pointers tab. You can delete the original .zip file after you've unzipped it.

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