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Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:

          12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
          11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I
          need dual Pentium processors if I am to
          do battle with this code!"
          10) "You cannot really appreciate
          Dilbert unless you've read it in the
          original Klingon."
          9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how
          to indent when I indent your skull!"
          8) "What is this talk of 'release'?
          Klingons do not make software
          'releases'. Our software 'escapes,'
          leaving a bloody trail of designers &
          quality assurance people in its wake."
          7) "Klingon function calls do not have
          'parameters' - they have 'arguments' -
          and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
          6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug.
          Our software does not coddle the weak."
          5) "I have challenged the entire quality
          assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest.
          They will not concern us again."
          4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not
          comment his code!"
          3) "By filing this bug report you have
          challenged the honor of my family.
          PREPARE TO DIE!"
          2) "You question the worthiness of my
          code? I should kill you where you
          stand!"
          1) "Our users will know fear and cower
          before our software! Ship it! Ship it
          and let them flee like the dogs they
          are!"

"Why Engineers Don't Write
Cookbooks:"

     Chocolate Chip Cookies Ingredients:

     1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
     2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
     3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
     4.) 236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
     5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
     6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
     7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
     8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated
     protein ovoids
     9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao 10.) 236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume
     meats (sieve size #10)
     
     >To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an
     overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add
     ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.
     >In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller
     operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven
     until the mixture is homogenous.
     >To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal
     volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1.
     >Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant
     agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to
     control any temperature rise that may be the result of an
     exothermic reaction.
     >Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the
     mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).
     >Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement
     with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS,
     21, 55), or until golden brown.
     >Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-
     transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
      
                                 

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